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Pinky, Voltron & the Brain

A Crossover Literary Work of Shameless Fandom
By Lynne and Mark - to send C&Cs, see the contact section

Voltron and all associated characters are owned and copyrighted by WEP. Original/new characters belong to the author. 'Pinky and the Brain' belongs to Warner Brothers/Amblin Entertainment and Mr. Rogers belongs to himself. Other relative disclaimers may apply to obscure references to other shows.

Author's Note: `Innuendo' is the Italian word for Preparation H.



Chapter 10

"Who's flying that contraption?" Lance half-muttered, as he stared out his cockpit window at the Big Suit, that now had drawn alongside his Lion ship.

The Brain's purple helmeted visage blinked to life on Lance's viewer, and replied to his inquiry with determination and grit. "Captain John, Braintron Force, at your service, Lieutenant!"

Loud squeaks and chatters from Cheddar, Cheesy and their two children Sukey and Inky, could be heard in the background, which when translated, amounted to, `LET'S GO, BRAINTRON FORCE!'

The Red Lion pilot sputtered, "John! What the devil- Why are you- This wasn't in the-" The Brain smiled down at his tiny view screen. "Sorry, Lance -don't have time for clever banter. I know this wasn't `The Plan', but since three of you can't form Voltron, the Space Mice and I are going to save Antonio."

The Lieutenant glared at him. "Negative, Mr. Brain! If you think you can defeat a rampaging RoBeast with only an Armani suit, you're-you're... loony tunes!"

"Well of course I am! My entire family descends from Looney Tunes. It's a very distinguished animation lineage." The Brain informed him with dignity.

"Yeah, well, I'm happy for you." Lance replied, smirking. " Now quit dodging the issue, Captain Brain- don't you realize you could be mutilated-even smashed to bits? That thing has no friggin' idea who you are!"

The Brain gave the pilot a ferocious `don't make me hurt you' glare, but relented as he saw genuine concern flickering in Lance's ice blue gaze. "Okay, Lieutenant- I'll grant you the obvious... yes, right now Antonio is a green-horned, dog-collared flunky for evil. I concede he's also a vile, bloodthirsty, rampaging atrocity who at present is oblivious to the sacredness of life, and an absolute insult to fashion and good taste. No, no- please, hear me out."

Lance closed his mouth, sat back, and folded his arms across his chest, waiting for the inevitable `but'.

The mouse genius drew in a shaky breath, then continued, raw emotion underlining his words.

"Trust me on this Lance, no one, but no one, knows better than I how high the odds are that I will fail in any mission I undertake." The Brain then raised and passionately shook one tiny paw as his eyes burned red and his voice thundered with vengeful assurance.

"But despite everything, it doesn't change the fact that it's my very best- and frankly- my only friend in two galaxies that is trapped underneath that horror! I swear to you now...I will free him...or die in the attempt!"

The Brain waited a brief but stirring moment to let this sink in, before snarling:

"Failure- I scorn thee! Failure- I mock thee! Failure- I expectorate in thy wretched visage! PAH!"

Drawing up all his salvia, the newly commissioned Captain of Braintron forcefully spat.

High-pitched cheers from the Space Mice filled the airwaves at this noble sentiment.

The Brain used the break to compose himself, and to discreetly wipe off his viewer with his uniform sleeve.

Hunk seized the opportunity to ask a thoughtful question. "Would someone explain to me what Noggie is yapping about? He sounds ticked."

Lance slapped his helmet with one hand, then opened his mouth to make a scathing comment, but the Princess tactfully headed him off.

"Well, Hunk, what John meant was... even though poor Antonio is a naughty, ugly monster now, deep down he's still John's best friend, and John will stop at nothing to try to save him." Allura explained sadly, a fresh batch of tears streaming down her lovely cheeks.

"Thanks Princess! So- he's going to try to save his friend? That's brave! To be honest, though, I think charging in is a terrible idea, even with a souped up mecha-suit like that one." The Big Man then glanced at the PinkyBeast image on his scanner, and shook his head. "You won't get an argument from me on one thing - that is one bad, buh-uhtt-ugly Ro-Mouse, and look, he's a klutz too!"

This was said as they all watched the PinkyBeast trip over a small cliff and land on his face in the middle of a river, sending water washing over the banks, which flooded the surrounding landscape. Fortunately, the Monster got its bearings and rose to its feet, grinning sheepishly and tipping its head sideways to let the water run out of its enormous ears; as soon as the creature stepped out of its makeshift tub, the water receded to normal levels.

The Yellow Lion pilot chortled. "Hee hee, did you guys get a load of that? What a goofball-"

A soft, choked gasp ended his RoBeast critique. View screens and communicators now carried the image and sounds of the heartrending sobs of an extremely distraught Princess.

"Nice going, moron!" Lance fumed at Hunk, who grinned back at him sheepishly. "Could you be any more dense? That `goofball' was her friend too, so say sorry before Princess floods her cockpit!" The Red Lion pilot rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Hell's Bells, why do I always have to be the sensitive guy in this group?"

"You're not sensitive!" Hunk shot back. "Keith is, he's the serious, sensitive and noble leader. You're playing the witty, volatile and oversexed second banana. Pidge is the sweet, loveable child prodigy and I'm the brawny, thickheaded but mechanically brilliant, soft-hearted lummox. Oh, and then we have Princess, who's the spunky, beautiful, valiant, but adorably clueless, um...well, Princess, and Coran is the angst-ridden but shrewd elder st-"

The Red Lion pilot ruthlessly cut him off as Allura's sobs increased in volume. "Oh Lord, she's getting hysterical - and if there's one thing I can't handle, it's crying women. Apologize, you yutz!"

The Brain slapped his forehead in despair. ~These two have the attention span of a teenage boy at a Playmate convention. I'll give them three seconds to straighten this out, or...~

Time was up. The Brain cleared his throat- loudly and with great length. Hunk and Lance both fell silent. Allura continued to weep.

"Your Majesty, please do not cry. I swear on my Mother's burrow that I will bring him back to you, safe and sound." The Braintron Captain said gently.

The sobbing quickly tapered off. On the view screens they could see the Princess' blond head lift off her console, and her blue, shimmering gaze seeking out the scowling visage of her newest champion.

"I believe you, John." she answered softly, then hiccupped. "Oh dear."

"Hold your breath and count to ten," The Brain advised automatically. "Now, your Highness, I have another Plan, but it will be much more perilous than the first. No matter what the cost, I will carry it out, but the rest of you need not. All that I ask is that the Lion ships distract the Beast long enough for me to get inside him."

Allura released her breath before responding, and smiled when she realized the hiccups were gone. It was a good omen. "I'm with you, John. We're in this together, to the end."

A chorus of determined squeaks mixed with Lance's and Hunk's fervent affirmatives settled the matter.

"Thank you," The Brain said humbly, then lurched violently from side to side as a `NNNNNAAAAARRRRFFF!' induced turbulence shook the Big Suit in midair. He gripped his command chair and spoke urgently, sensing the imminent danger.

"It's almost here, so I'll make this fast. If what I suspect it accurate, Pi- I mean, Antonio, will be encapsulated in one of the Beast's buttocks."

"Why not the head?" Lance asked, curiously.

"If the Witch spent even five minutes with Antonio, she'd know not to let him anywhere near the command center. He's the empowering life force and the personality, but not the brain."

The Red Lion pilot nodded curtly. "Gotcha. Provide a diversion so you can find the back door and slide in."

Hunk gave a sly grin as he made eye contact with Lance, who rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Now what?"

Hunk's grin grew wider. "This isn't the time or the place."

Lance glared at his teammate.

"The place for what?" The Princess asked curiously, wiping her eyes.

Weary and impatient, The Brain simply shouted, his sarcasm bringing all discussion to a halt. "Hell-ooo people, John's going bye-bye now! COVER ME!"

"Yes sir!" The three Voltron force members quickly snapped to attention.

As one, the three Lion ships dived at the rampaging menace, veering off at the last possible moment; they then took turns making passes at the monster's torso and legs. The PinkyBeast grinned with malevolent delight at the toy size arrivals.

"ZZZOOOORRRRTTTT!" It rumbled, reaching for the `piddy kitties'.

"Uh-oh." Hunk observed uneasily, barely avoiding the monster's swiping paws. "I think he wants to play."

"So play, already!" Lance retorted, anxiously watching as the Big Suit ship rocketed upwards. He grinned broadly as he saw it shoot between the Beast's horns and disappear behind the gigantic head, completely unnoticed by the distracted creature.

"Okay team, Brain's completed the first stage...now let's do our part and look after Tiny Toes." He commanded, steering Red Lion into another steep dive.

"Right!"

"You got it!"

~~~~~~~~~

Even as the horned rodent lunged and grabbed at the dodging Lion ships, Prince Lotor had left the Totally Demolished Glen and was now on his way to the battle, in a hovercraft purloined from an elderly Arusian who had happened along.

As he sped along, he muttered curses in five Denubian dialects as the rust covered craft alternately backfired and lurched forward, and then began to cough and choke as a cloud of foul smelling exhaust belched out from vehicle's front engines, completely encompassing him. Gagging at the foul odor, the Prince reached beneath the skirt of his tunic, and pulled out a huge, rolled hanky from inside the front of his leggings. Shaking it open, he held it over his mouth and nose.

~This is the last time I go for the `easy' steal!~ He seethed helplessly as he jerked along. ~This bucket of bolts makes the coffin ship seem like a pleasure cruise.~

Despite his aggravation, Lotor still smiled behind the hanky when he reached the site of the skirmish. He was surprised but glad to see only three of the mighty Lion ships faced his latest challenge; and happy didn't even begin to describe his mood when he spotted the mighty Blue Lion among them.

"It's a pity the arrogant Captain Keith was unable to attend our little party." Lotor sneered to himself. "Yes, Allura, now you WILL be mine..." He gloatingly added, then frowned mightily. "That is, if that big oaf doesn't crush her first! HALT BEAST!" Outrage contorting his features, Lotor dropped his hanky and savagely gunned the transport's engines. Shooting forward, the craft continued to lurch violently and belch black, rancid-smelling smoke as it picked up momentum.

Reaching his destination with surprising speed, the Prince quickly located and fired the craft's elevation thrusters; the transport jerked upwards, listing from side to side, but somehow managing to lift him to eye level with his newest robotic menace.

It seemed that the PinkyBeast had managed to grab hold of both Blue and Yellow Lion. He now held the battered ships above his head as he `flew' them around, making loud `Vrrrrrrooommm' noises, before lowering and gleefully bashing the two Lions together, head-on.

"ZORTTTTT, PPPOOOIIITTT!" It giggled, as inside the Lions, a dazed Princess and a stunned Hunk groaned miserably.

Lotor, appalled at the sight of his precious Princess package not being handled with care, unclenched his teeth and bellowed at the grinning creature.

"No, no, NO, you IDIOT! Not the blue one! Allura's in there! You'll squash her, you imbecile!"

All motion stilled for a minute.

"NNNNNARRRRFFF?" The RoBeast asked, looking at his master, then at the damaged blue ship. An immense lower lip began to quiver and tears welled up in the giant red eyes. His huge white paws clenched around the lions as the PinkyBeast began to whimper, obviously well on his way to working up a mega-sized tantrum. If the silly creature decided to pound his fists...

The Doomian Prince stomped his foot in exasperation, then took several deep, calming breaths. There was no need to panic; fortunately for the imperiled Princess and himself, he had seen fit to demand a crash course from Hagar on how best to handle this creature's strange moods before leaving the Totally Demolished Glen.

~Or should that be-unfortunately?~ He thought, dolefully.

The Witch's obscene instructions had succeeded in shocking him to the core - him, the merciless, cynical Royal Scourge of the Doomian Empire. His sensuous lips had fallen open and his handsome face had turned a paler shade of blue as he listened to Hagar's directions, which was presumably why the Witch had to stop for so many `cackle breaks' during the lecture.

Good thing Hagar had volunteered to stay behind to attend to the ships, he didn't want to leave any witnesses to what he was about to do- and the evil gods only knew he couldn't kill her, the crazy old hag. At that thought, Lotor determinedly squared his shoulders, and cleared his throat. Pasting a bright smile on his features, he addressed the PinkyBeast, trying to make his harsh voice seem warm and friendly.

"It's okay, wittle Tonyums, I know how much you wike the piddy boo one," He soothingly called to the gigantic mouse. "But guess what? The piddy Pincess is in it, and we want the piddy Pincess in one piece- don't we now? Say, I know, why don't you put her down, then go catch and smash the icky Red one instead, there's a good boy! That's it! Good Beastie! Pwincey Wotor just wuvs you!"

"ZORT!" The PinkyBeast nodded happily, while setting the Blue Lion down. Lotor breathed a sigh of relief as the monster turned its attention to the skies in search of the Red ship; the Prince's yellow gaze then feasted on the sight of Blue Lion lying on its back, its four legs flailing aimlessly.

Red Lion still free and hovering near the RoBeast, had picked up the conversation between evil Prince and Giant Mouse. When it ended, Lance shuddered violently. "Oy...that was really... disturbing. I just know I'm gonna have nightmares."

He then tried hailing his captive teammates, who, to his relief, responded promptly, if not eagerly.

"I'm okay Lance, but I think my rear stabilizers have been compromised," The Princess gasped. "I can't get off my back."

"Allura, you've got to move, Lotor is here and that's right where he wants you!" Lance yelled, then blushed and bit his lip. ~Ye Gods, I'm starting to sound like Keith! Wonder what my therapist will have to say about that?~

"Wait! I mean...well, you know what I mean," he finished lamely.

"I know, I KNOW! I'm working on it!" Allura exclaimed anxiously, turning dials and flipping switches frantically. ~One of these ought to do it...Father, where on Arus are you? You always show up to help me at a time like this!~ But, alas, the Princess' screen remained spiritless, despite her mental plea. ~Oh sure, now he decides to let me grow up!~

"I need help, Red Lion, I'm gettin' pulverized!" Hunk shouted, his raspy voice shaking as the Pinky Beast whirled his ship around by the tail, then repeatedly smashed it into the ground with an earsplitting but delighted, "Duh- huh- huh!"

"Right!" Lance responded, and launched his ship at Hunk's playful captor. "I'll be right back Princess; try to hang tight and don't talk to strangers!"

As Lance rocketed to Yellow Lion's aid, Lotor slowly descended to the level of the helpless Blue Lion, the hovercraft's turbines pinging, knocking, and occasionally backfiring as he did so. The craft eventually settled a few yards away from his target, with a jarring thud.

"I have you now, stubborn Princess!" He whispered aloud, his ochre eyes glinting with sinful purpose. ~And I'll have her later, too,~ he added silently, with a waggle of both eyebrows and blue fingers holding an imaginary cigar.

Chuckling to himself, Lotor shut off the ancient craft's engine, jumped to the ground and quickly strode toward Blue Lion's cockpit.

~~~~~~~~~

Away from the front, the improved Big Suit had reached the targeted area, lowering itself to hover in a spot near the seat of the monster.

"Cheddar, my Ultra-Sensors indicate a warm blooded life form centered in the left buttock." The Brain informed his second in command. "We shall focus our attack there."

An affirmative sounding squeak came over the comm.

"Okay, let's see what this body can do!" The Brain muttered, studying the weapons panel, which was covered with several multicolored switches. "Curses, I forgot to have them label the stuff! Oh well, let's see what this one is." He flipped a red switch.

Immediately a door in the lower abdomen of the Big Suit slid open and a huge, white gloved hand holding a mallet sprang forth on an extending mechanism.

"A mallet? That's high tech? Well, it's just not what we need. Maybe this one," the misshapen mouse mumbled, retracting the hand with the mallet with a flick of a paw, and then flipping another bright yellow switch. With a loud `Sproing!' another extended hand holding a black ball with a fuse on top popped out of the Big Suit's intestinal cavity, bearing a familiar logo that caught the eye of the Captain.

"ACME? What is THIS? Odds Bodkins! If I had wanted them to install Acme weapons, I could've stayed-"The Brain broke off his tirade as he spied the computer keypad next to the colored switches, labeled `Anime Weaponry'. "Oh, here they are. Heh. My mistake. Hm, this looks promising."

He pushed the key labeled `Mega-Cranial Ram'.

There was a loud crack, and the sounds of shrill, panicked squeaking.

The Big Suit reeled backwards as its mouse heads at the ends of its arms and legs launched themselves toward the RoBeast's backside.

"Oops." The Brain said sheepishly, as he watched the heads violently bounce off the mouse's steely gluts and head back to the Suit ship, leaving little Brain face shaped dents behind them.

"Guess I should have given them time to fasten their stabilizer bars." The Brain gulped, waiting for the outburst he knew was coming.

Sure enough, as the heads reattached to their limbs, an irate looking Cheddar appeared on the viewer, straightening his helmet and uniform. Upon seeing his Skipper's contrite features, he squeaked loudly and gutturally, most likely uttering what The Brain was sure was language not fit for the ears of man or mouse.

"I'm so very, very sorry. I won't push that one again," he told Cheddar in remorseful tones, when the tiny pilot finally took a breath.

The Space Mouse folded his paws across his chest and glared. Three other equally irate looking mice blipped up in split screens all around him and glared too.

"Here, why don't you four decide the next attack?" The Brain offered nervously. Mutiny was not a pleasant thing for a Captain to go through." How about this one, `Rebounding Rodent Missiles'?"

The glares intensified.

"'Limburger Wind Blasters'?"

The glares turned to looks of horror.

"No? All righty then, how about the `Blazing Grater'?" The Brain asked them tentatively. "Should we try that one? I don't think it involves us disassembling."

Cheddar conferred with his crewmates, shrugged, then gave a reluctant peace sign.

"Okay, the `Blazing Grater' it is, then," The Braintron Captain confirmed heartily, relieved that his team was still with him. Before they could change their minds, he reached over and pressed the pad.

~~~~~~~~~

Prince Lotor finally reached the door to Blue Lion's cockpit and leaned against the ship's steely hull for a moment, catching his breath. He couldn't believe it- only a puny wall separated them now. Soon that too would be gone, and Allura would be where she belonged in life, in his powerful arms and eternal service to Doom.

At that delicious thought, he turned and pressed a pointed ear to the panel. He listened intently- there were no sounds coming from inside. Was she knocked out? Injured? He rapped sharply on the hatch.

"Allura, my darling, are you all right?"

A sweet feminine voice answered promptly. "Keith, is that you?"

The Prince's smile turned downward and he drew himself up to his full height. "No, not Keith, it is I, Prince Lotor, future King, Merciless Warrior, Conqueror of Worlds, Holder of-"

The disembodied voice cut in, coldly. "I know who you are. I also know what you are. Get lost."

Lotor gritted his teeth, but forced a calm tone. "Now Allura, we really don't have time for lover's games. Please open the hatch."

"No!"

"Open it!" He gritted.

"I won't! I won't give in, I swear by the hairs on my late Father's chin." Was the defiant response.

Lotor was breathing heavily, his anger barely in check. He drew his laser sword, its pulsing and crackling energy filling the air. "Princess, if you don't open this hatch RIGHT NOW, I'll hack and I'll slash, and I'll CUT my way in!"

"Like to see you try." The voice sniffed.

"Fine! Be that way!" The Prince spat, his face turning almost purple with rage. "But just remember this, Allura...ten minutes from now when I am dragging you out of there by that golden mop of yours... just remember that I asked first. I will always ask first." His voice dropped to a seductive purr. "Believe me, things will be much more pleasant for you if I do not have to force any issue between us."

Inside the cockpit, Allura paled at the ominous words. It would take the Prince a while to cut through the door, but would that be enough time for help to arrive? Where was Keith anyway? She clutched her blaster, and stared at the hatch, which was already sparking from the forceful blows of a viciously wielded laser sword.

~~~~~~~~~

"FORM... BLAZING... GRATER!" The Captain of Braintron shouted.

The Big Suit ship's two mouse head hands slammed together with a mighty clank, and when they parted, Cheddar's mouse ship held the handle of a rectangular object that was covered with long, sharp-edged spines on all sides.

"This will get us in!" The Brain exclaimed. "We need to get closer though. That okay with everyone?" A series of affirmative squeaks sounded in his ears.

The mouse genius guided the suit until his likenesses were virtually pressed up against the left side of the PinkyBeast's bottom.

"I suppose this would be the time to make a humorous quip about gluteus kissing, or some such nonsense," The Brain mused. "But I'm the Captain, and supposedly the straight man, so I won't. Proceed, Lieutenant Cheddar- whenever you and Cheesy are ready."

The arms of the Big Suit moved inward and both mouse heads grasped the ends of the grater in their mouths, rubbing it vigorously back and forth against the RoBeast's tush in an attempt to scrape away the top layers of sheet metal.

"Hopefully we'll break through before the security breach is detected." The Brain muttered to himself, while avidly measuring their progress.

Another pair of eyes were measuring progress too, but with severe anxiety in their lovely depths. It wouldn't be long and Lotor would have the Princess in his clutches, unless, of course, she blew her brains out with the blaster. That threat had worked with the creep before, maybe- Allura cocked the trigger, raised it to her temple and-

"Princess, I know you're in trouble, but this thing's got me pinned down," Lance's strained voice filled the cockpit. "Try using-aaaaah!!" There was a burst of static and the connection was severed.

"Lance! Come in! Lance!" Allura cried, dropping the blaster, and ducking as it discharged. Oh great, it had had only enough power for one shot, and now that was gone. It was no use, she was doomed.

"Hear that my Princess? My new pet has your Lions by the necks-it's all over for them. If you surrender now, Allura, quite possibly they will be allowed to live!" The Prince's gloating voice grated on her ears and nerves. "And forget that pesky Captain...he's shown you his true color...yellow!"

"How dare you!" Allura gasped. It was an insult to both Keith and Hunk, who always had been proud to wear yellow, despite its negative stereotype.

"I dare anything when it comes to you, Princess." Lotor replied silkily.

"So do I," a familiar, amplified voice echoed into the Blue Lion cabin, sounding as hard as steel.

"Keith, you're here!" The Princess shouted. "Thank Arus!"

"Surrender Lotor... you creep!" The Captain ordered grimly.

"I think...NOT!" The Prince hissed, continuing to whack the hatch with his sword.

"Oh no, Keith-I just remembered- the RoBeast has Lance and Hunk...they'll certainly be killed if you try to rescue me!" Allura half-whispered.

"Oh noooo!" Keith groaned. "I guess I should have gone and freed them first, huh?"

"Um, yeah, probably." Allura replied, uneasily.

"I'm so sorry Princess, but when I saw you in danger, you were all I could think about. Um... I -I guess you're my weakness...my...Achilles heel."

Outside Blue Lion, Lotor, hacking away at the stubborn panel, grunted as he listened to the tender confession. ~What utter drivel! And what really gets me is that she falls for his corny lines. By all that is evil, if I hear the words `swell' or `pretty neat', I swear I'll...~ The Prince's blows abruptly increased in intensity.

Her lovely eyes glowing, the Princess breathed into her communicator, "Oh Keith, that's so sweet! Do you really mean it?"

"Yes, Allura I do. I've been doing a lot of thinking in the last couple of hours, and now there's something I want to tell you." The Voltron Captain's voice was soft, and caressing, and the Princess' heart leapt with joy.

"There's something I would like to tell you, too..." She replied breathlessly. But at that moment, the hatch gave way, and Lotor stumbled into the cockpit.

"PRINCESS!" Keith yelled.

"Go save Lance and Hunk. They can help-" Allura managed to gasp out, before a hard forearm was placed in front of her throat.

~~~~~~~~~

"It's working, but not fast enough!" The Brain fumed, as he studied the tiny hole they had made that was only big enough for a gnat to climb through. "With every minute we take to scrape, we risk detection! If only we had a laser or something, we'd get through in no time!"

The tiny Captain pounded a fist on the arm of his chair. "This is just so unfair. After all, I'm on the good guys' side now, right? And the good guys always win, right? So why the Sam Hill isn't anything going-"

Keith's frantic tones issuing from the comm cut off the rant. "John, do you read? Lotor has Allura and Lance and Hunk are in trouble! Abort the mission, someone has to help the Princess!"

The Brain lowered his head sadly as he answered in the affirmative. Well this was it then. No more goofy laughs. No more pratfalls. No more `are you pondering what I'm ponderings' or `what are we doing tomorrow nights'. No more joy. No more Pinky.

He addressed his crew sadly. "You heard the man- we go to the Princess, though I'm not sure that we can even help her. What we need now... is a miracle."

Suddenly, a raucous `yeeeee-haw!' blasted out of the comm. In disbelief, the Braintron Force watched on their scanners as a thin laser beam came out of the sky, harmlessly shooting past the Big Suit and cutting a neat square doorway in the RoBeast's buttock.

A buoyant voice then hailed them.

"You want a miracle? You're in luck- because `Miracle' is my middle name."

To be continued...:)


Part 09     Part 11

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